It had been raining for more than a week now,the rain made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy.Dylan called and said he was coming up.It was third time Dylan came up to see me that week.I carried his excuse of why he came all the way here and went to meet Dylan at the nearby 7-Eleven.
Dylan was standing there all alone and carrying a black umbrella along with him.The taxi driver dropped him off from the taxi.It was raining and he was shivering,looking weak and pale.He was just wearing not enough to keep him warm.
I walked towards him and said,"You shouldn't come to see me anymore,"and stuff like how we shouldn't be together.
Dylan replied,"I miss you so much."
"Stop it!"I shouted and turned to him with fierce look.
"You shouldn't miss me.We are over and you should go to find another girl who is better than me.Don't waste your time on me.I don't want to see you suffering and being lock up in the past,"I replied him.
Dylan looked at me with his dark-brown eyes and whispering."Kano,I don't want to give up on you because I am in love with you."
Out of the blue ,the road we were standing at become silent and empty.There was no vehicles passed by neither passer-by.Everything were silence while it was only raining.We could only hear the sound of the rain drops.
"Let's go,I'll walk you home,"I began a talk in the silence situation.I said it coldly to him.
He was just standing in front of the door of 7-Eleven .He did not open up his umbrella.I knew that he wanted to share with me just like how we did while we were still together.
"Open up your umbrella.Don't stand there like a fool.It's raining heavily now.I should walk you home now,"I said it cruelly.
Unwillingly,Dylan opened up the umbrella and walked with me to the car.Dylan said he hadn't had lunch nor dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.I know Dylan was trying to slow down the time for him to go home.
Right away I answered with a stoned heart,"No!"
Disappointedly,Dylan asked me to take him to the train station.
"I would like to take the train back home,"he said.
We just walked to the train station.As we reached there,there was a crowd of people.Maybe it was because of the rain ,all the trains were full of people.We waited and waited ,he looked at me.Being together for so long,of course I knew what he meant.I understood how he must feel when he came all along in this kind of situation and I treated him like this.Due of his look at me,I felt guilty and wanted to let him stay for the night.
However,the reality struck again ,I said to him coldly,"Let's go try the other train station."Mean while ,I had a flashback of how I met Dylan.
We knew each other four years ago.We were living in the same apartment building on the same florr.Back then there were four of us and we got along so well.We were more like a family.Yet,I didn't know that I would end up with falling in love with the only boy of the four.Maybe it was during the last year of college,having living together for two years and we developed deep feeling for each other.After Dylan graduated ,he went back home and I stayed for one more year to finish school.It had been a hard year for both of us.During that year,I was only able to take the train down to see Dylan on holidays,but never so long.That was how we cherished the precious relationship.
The train station was full of people.None of it was empty.We walked out from the train station.We were walking along the side of the road.Dylan walked in front of me and I was right behind him.Many times,Dylan was too into thinking and drifting off the road,He was almost hit by the cars passing by.I wanted to just hold his hand but with the Love I had for him and the constant pain in my stomach I did nothing.Nothing at all.
The constant pain was due to the diseases I had,Four years ago,the doctor said I had cancer but it was discovered early.So it was still curable .Thinking that it was fine ,I began living my normal life again and even forgot about the cancer.Until a month ago,my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight.First I thought the pain would be gone ,yet it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore.I went back to the doctor and he said I should not be too sad of it and sorry they had tried everything for it.I was at the most glittering and happy part of my life and it was going to be end soon.I waned myself and the people around me to go through the least pain as possible ,so I decided to commit suicide.
However,I couldn't let people to find my intentions.Especially,Dylan, the person I love the most in this whole world.Dylan still doesn't know about the truth .So I made up a story and lied to him.It was a cruel thing to do and it broke his heart too.However,it was the fastest way to wipe out three years's feeling.I didn't have much time because I would soon start to loose hair and Dylan will find out eventually.
We were just standing there waiting for the taxi .We were waiting,loosing our last moment in silence.Suddenly,there was a light ,a taxi.I held my tears and said to Dylan,"Take care of yourself.Take good care of yourself."
Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart longer.Dylan opened the door then I helped him closed the door that would separated me from Dylan forever.I stood by the car ,staring in the dark window at the first love in my life and also the last one,walking out of my life.I waved my arms rapidly after the car leave,because I knew this would be the last time I see him.I wanted to tell him so much that I love him so much and tell him to stay but the taxi had already turned into the corner.Warm tears falling down on my face,blended with the cold rain drops.I was cold not because of the rain.I was cold inside.I knew Dylan didn't see my tears because they were washed away by the rain.I left without regrets.
I don't want the people around me to hurt so much.I wanted the hurt they had to be as less as possible.After Dylan's leaving that day he went to a far away place and never come back .So,he didn't find out about what was the reason I broke up with him and it would be the best choice ever.Finally,I realized that I had made the right decisions.
